smell them marilla; drink them in!

what a blessing to live in such a beautiful place. being surrounded by God's creation is one of my favorite things about the place i call home. these are just a few snapshots taken in the glorious sunshine today...along with a few thoughts from another of my beloved authors, who seems to capture some of my more rapturous moods.

"isn't it splendid to think of all the things
there are to find out about? it just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such
an interesting world. it wouldn't be half so interesting if we know all about
everything, would it? there'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?"
-l. m. montgomery, anne of green gables

"the woods are never solitary--they are full
of whispering, beckoning, friendly life. "

-l. m. montgomery, anne's house of
dreams

"we must have ideals and try to live up to
them, even if we never quite succeed. life would be a sorry business without
them. with them it's grand and great." -l. m. montgomery, anne of avonlea

"marilla, isn't it nice to think that tomorrow
is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?"
-l. m. montgomery, anne of green
gables

“i’m not a bit changed—not really. i’m only just pruned down and branched out.
the real me—back here—is just the same. it won’t make a bit of difference where
I go or how much I change outwardly; at heart I shall always be your little
anne, who will love you and matthew and dear green gables more and better every
day of her life.”
-l. m. montgomery, anne of green gables

daddy date

yesterday i had the special privilege of going on a date with my daddy. it was so fun to be with each other. he is so smart...and such a gentleman! the rule was that i was not allowed to open my own door. =)

our stops included :

-costco

-coldstone creamery

-regal cinemas

and each one was a treat because of who i was with. i think i've always been a daddy's girl and last night was no exception.

love, romance, marriage and other such notions

with another summer of weddings having started its no wonder that marriage has been on my mind. here's a few of the thoughts that have been floating around my head lately.

but first-
at the wedding last weekend, two things happened that involved boys. (i call them "boys" not because they are younger than me, but because i'm in the habit. no disrespect intended in regards to their age, etc.) i'll start with the one that amused me. one of the groosmen reminded me of a movie character, "riley" from national treasure. in my head and i must admit, even out loud i called him "riley." he had a good sense of humor and resembled the actor. i was disappointed to learn that "riley" was not his name. yet, at the rehearsal dinner, i couldn't help but loudly gasp when i learned his middle name was "riley!" maybe i'm silly and school-girlish, but this gave me no end of amusement for the weekend.

the second thing was i was able to tell that a guy (is label even any better? maybe i should ask a "member of the male sex" what they would prefer to be called...) liked me. honestly, i couldn't tell you one guy that has liked me. ever. i think i'm pretty clueless when it comes to stuff like that, but not this past weekend. he kept looking at me. he asked my dad how old i was. we made eye contact several times, and i felt like he wanted to come talk to me...or ask me to dance. he looked at me when the music started up, and yes, my mommy made note of that. yet, we went the whole weekend without ever talking. it probably didn't help that my brother was always at my side. (love ya john!) i left a little sad about his (and my!) shyness.

when running errands a few days ago, i bumped into a friend's mom. after a few questions, she asked me the question that i could tell she had been waiting to ask. was i seeing anyone? i told her no, to which she said she was very surprised. she was convinced i must be warding them all off. i laughed and told her that wasn't quite the case, but even then i don't think she believed me. part of me wishes that i didn't believe me either.

i'll stick this in quickly- here's a quote that i found and liked, even if it has little to do with my previous writings. =) it reminds me of how horrified i was at the unpredictable nature of driving when i was first learning. it also reminds me of the NEED to trust God, if we are all as problematic as suggested...
"love is as unproblematic as a vehicle. the only problems are the drivers, the passengers and the road." -franz kafka

sometimes i wonder if i'll ever get married. after all, i did just watch spiderman 2, and heard aunt may's advice to peter. "i believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. even our dreams." even though i don't agree that there is necessarily a "hero" that enables us to do these things, instead it is the holy spirit's power, i do think doing the right thing can mean giving up our dreams.

i know the desire to be married, to be a wife and mother, is within my heart, and God promises to fulfill the desires of our heart, when we delight in him, right? as simple as this sounds, i've already seen the desires of my heart been changed by him. i remember at the beginning of my freshman year thinking that i did NOT want to be a r.a. and wouldn't even consider it. yet, there i was turning in my application, having my heart changed enough to go through the interview process. during the period of waiting, i felt my heart grow with love and excitement for possible residents. i realized how disappointed i would be to not get the position. when i got my letter, i sat praying, my hands shaking to discover what God would have me do.
now, over a year later, as i prepare for my 2nd year in residence life, i can only praise him for leading me down the path i didn't want to go.

as much as i would hate to give up my dream of marriage, i can't help but consider this to be a possibility. i've already seen this in my own life.

at the time, surrender is so hard.

so hard, but He always proves it to be worth the struggle to obey.

this is the chapter of my life called dreaming...and hoping my dreams are the same as His.

pooh bear

i love the simplicity and the sweetness found in the words of a. a. milne.

i received a treasure in a small book of his sayings for my birthday. i also discovered three other books at a thrift store in may and have been enjoying the wisdom and humor from this writer since.

here are a few of my favorites from here, there and everywhere in between-

“if the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. it may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”

“it is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "what about lunch?"”

“when late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts, don't worry; you're probably just a little eleven o'clockish.”

“you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. there are days when spelling tuesday simply doesn't count.”

“poetry and hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. and all you can do is go where they can find you.”

“piglet sidled up to pooh from behind. "pooh," he whispered. "yes, piglet?" "nothing," said piglet, taking pooh's paw, "i just wanted to be sure of you."”

hope

sometimes i ask God, "why me?"
today was one of those days.

nothing bad has happened to me. no tragedy has struck me. no evil has befallen me.

instead i was once again reminded of the grace that God has shown me.

mommy and i went to a lunch today put on by shared hope international. what i heard broke my heart-the little girls who are forced into slavery, forced into prostitution. some of them are sold by their parents, who know full well of their child's fate. others believe they are acting in their child's best interest, sending them off to school or a better opportunity. yet, the result is the same: bondage for these girls.



unlike these precious ones who have been sold into slavery, i was free to remain innocent and girlish for longer than most. unlike these beautiful girls who were prostituted against their will, i have been protected by my family. unlike these shame-filled women who are just beginning to experience the love of God, i have been loved all my life and have known of God's grace and love for me since childhood. girls who have known torture and abuse, when i can only imagine the horrors they have experienced.

i don't know why God chose to save me. i don't know why others must suffer such horrors because of the greed and sin of others. but i do know that as bleak as this situation is, i was also shown hope today.

hope for a future. women who have thought of themselves as nothing,able to own their own homes. women with seemingly no future, being able to learn skills and having a profession of their own. women who were forced into prostitution, being able to their dream of romance through marriage to a christian man. girls finding safety in hope houses. girls getting to go to school for the first time. as i watched the video i was struck by the joy found in the laughter and smiles of these daughters who had been hurt so much. only jesus could make a blind man see, a lame man walk and heal these hurting girls.










he truly is the God of miracles. he truly is the God of wonders. praise our God!

restoration. freedom. life. hope.

these are the promises of our savior.

give me jesus

my prayer for tonight is in the words of this song.

in the morning, when i rise/in the morning, when i rise/in the morning, when i rise, give me jesus

give me jesus/give me jesus/you can have all this world/but give me jesus

when i am alone/when i am alone/when i am alone, give me jesus

give me jesus/give me jesus/you can have all this world/but give me jesus

when i come to die/when i come to die/when i come to die, give me jesus

give me jesus/give me jesus/you can have all this world/you can have all this world/you can have all this world

but give me jesus

summer goals

for the past few summers, brio magazine has put out a 30 day challenge, offering teen girls the chance and incentive to better themselves over the summer months. while i don't plan to engage in all of the activites that are laid out in this article, i do want to utilize the rest of my time at home during these sunny days.

a few of my summer goals-

-bless my family. whether this means running errands, paint a bedroom for my grandma doing chores, going to a movie with my daddy, playing games with my brothers, talking with my mommy, making gluten-free food, i want to be a blessing to some of the very most important people in my life.

-read uncle tom's cabin by harriet beecher stowe.

-get a passport. australia is only 11 months away!

-work on curbing my tongue. i think in the last year i've become more critical, more unkind with my words due partly to the influence of those i've been around but also because of my own sinful nature. i want to work on building other people up with my words and not saying the thoughts that amuse me when they are at another's expense.

-memorize colossians 4:6 to help me with curbing my tongue.

-spend minimal time on the computer. i can easily waste hours on this machine, but i want to commit to using it to communicate with people i am away from and doing useful activites. and getting off of it when i'm done!

-pray for my upcoming year. with a full schedule of nursing classes and exciting opportunities as a r.a. i know i will face opposition. i want to be a blessing to those i am serving!

-read the space trilogy by c. s. lewis.

-spend time with some of my dear friends here at home. its easy to take for granted living on campus, close to all my friends at school. while it takes a bit more of an effort, i want to be able to spend time with those that i am away from when i'm at school.

-write at least 2 letters to my sponsored child in india. i know letters are such a treasured thing. during the school year, i often neglect this important part of my ministry to this little girl whom i have never met. during the summer, i'm afraid laziness more than business prevents me from blessing her in this way.

-eat less dessert. self explanatory.

-make my decorations for the apartments' doors. i want to have as much ready before training week as possible!

-read the last of the mohicans by james fenimore cooper.

-exercise. with a varied schedule almost every day, it isn't always possible to exercise in the same way. but i want to be ready for walkabout this august and i want to be in shape anyway! i want to make an effort to be active in whatever way i can each day. i know the value of convenience hinders my progress in this area and feeds my lazy nature. no more!

-scrapbook my school year. enjoying the pictures taken of my friends and family during the school year while preserving them in a special way is something i discovered was impossible to do in the midst of res. life and nursing!

-watch less movies. play more games as a family.

-not mindlessly watching movies, but making the choice to evaluate the content with a biblical worldview.

-read ephesians every day. the week that was spent in the study of this book during my last semester made me realize how much i wanted to learn more from the wealth found in this book intended for all believers.

wow. i guess i had more goals than i realized!

jesus, help me to not waste the precious gift of these summer days.

a wedding

there's something indescribably beautiful about weddings where God is honored.

this weekend we drove to a special wedding. i suppose all weddings are special but this one felt especially so, for several reasons:

-i got to see my daddy as a groomsman for a young man he had known since the days as his sunday school teacher in elementary school
-i witnessed two people who loved God even more than they loved each other
-i saw their commitment to purity through their decision to wait until this day before kissing
-i also saw their first act as man and wife to be a way to honor God, instead of the traditional kiss

what a blessing to witness such a union. and what a reminder of what i am waiting for...

chapter of my life

on sunday, daddy received "the pursuit of happyness" for father's day. i liked the messages found in the film, even if his hard life was difficult to watch. i liked the father-son relationship portrayed. i also liked the way in which the narration included the various "chapters" in his life.

"this is the chapter of my life called 'being stupid.'"

"this is the chapter of my life called 'running.'"

this is the chapter of my life called "hanging out with my best friend."

-driving to the store where she works

-trying on dresses

-having her act as my saleslady, telling me how flattering the dresses looked

-discussing how to compliment someone even when a dress isn't flattering

-picking out earrings with my birthday gift certificate

-eating spaghetti and salad with her family

-learning archery

-feeling heroic while aiming at the target

-actually hitting the target!

-making a list of our intended summer adventures together

-thinking our many years together as friends, with moments both remembered and forgotten

-showing her my hawaii scrapbook and wishing she could have journeyed there with me

-carrying the mattress to her floor

"if it fits, its meant to be."

-sleeping on the mattress and talking until we fell asleep

-walking up in the middle of the night and being happy to be sleeping next to my best friend

-eating watermelon and bumble bars for breakfast

-listening to country music on the drive to our hike

-hiking around the edge of lake cushman

-enjoying the peace of the lake while swapping stories of our separate adventures this year

-drinking water out of nalgenes

-having her recite poetry to me, including the tree poem

-hugging good-bye with the anticipation of seeing each other soon to begin fulfilling our list

-realizing that even distance and different experiences has not changed our friendship

plaster and large red top tubes

sometimes i have expectations for how things are going to be-

on sunday i taught sunday school with mommy. prior to getting there, we were informed that we would be making plaster hand-prints with the kids for father's day. when i found this out, i was less than thrilled. i dislike crafts that are not simple and do not fit with the story. unfortunately my fears were not unfounded. the plaster turned out to be rather a disaster, but fortunately mommy was there to help. she took over the plaster, which ended up using up most of the class period, while i taught the children about joshua. and i would like to point out that they were much more excited about the pieces of paper we rolled into trumpets than the plaster. =) simple but fun.

on monday i went to get tested for allergies. as i held the letter in my hand on the way to the lab, i was filled with anxiety over the words, "please fill one large red top tube...and spin it." yikes. after a small prick, a vial of my blood and a sore arm later, i realized that my fears were somewhat unfounded. i thought the worst was over.
then today, i learned that it was all for naught. the tube of blood was not spun enough and will have to be re-done. yuck.

expectations. sometimes i'm right and sometimes i'm wrong. sometimes i like the satisfaction of being right, but would prefer being proven wrong. and sometimes i hope that i am incorrect...