Wednesday, April 15, 2009


we had initiation/torch passing for the new apt. staff last night. i knew it would make me a little sad to have a visible reminder that i wouldn't be apart of things next year, but it was a lot sad. i held it in until the woolman parking lot. i do have to say that it was hard to be sad when chris savage was giving us disneyland rides on the way home. i squeaked alot. =)
but then i walked becca home, and put words to my melancholy.
i told her that i feel like i'm holding sand in my hand. when i clutch it tight, it keeps spilling through my fingers. when i open it up to look, there is still some left, just not as much as before.
i also feel like i'm digging my heels into the ground. but its kind of muddy & jacob is tugging on my hands with J pushing me from behind. i can't help but be taken in that direction, even though i don't want to go.
i know i want to graduate. i really do want to be done with school. but i love these people so much and it hurts my heart to think about it coming to an end.
so if i don't blog much in the days leading up to graduation or even after, it could be because i am studying, because there are quite a few tests still to pass before i am a nurse. but it could also be because i am loving on some of my favorite people before we have to say good-bye. that's been the case the last few weeks, and i'm guessing that won't be changing until after may 2...


dani-yelli. said...

thank you for giving words to the dichotomy i feel between excitement for graduation and fear of losing something beautiful i have built over the last 4 years. i love you. :)

Whitney said...

I remember being in this place a couple different times in the past few years. Speaking from the other side- it is such a treat when everything is all said and done and you open your hands to find that those few grains of sand that are left are actually some pretty precious little gems.

If that makes any sense.
I'll be thinking of you as you finish up, little Missy.

Oh and I think I love you more than Danielle, just saying.... ;)

Jan said...

Isy at my Bible study said she saw this on the fire station reader near her house. (Her son is also graduating from college)
"Don't cry because it's over,
Smile because it happened."
I know you will be smiling when you are finished crying:)
I love you and I am praying!