Thursday, August 30, 2007


eating together.
listening to kyle tell stories.
more friends.
my heart is happy.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

the afternoon...

a few more of the day's joys:
-eating cottage cheese and peaches
-walking across campus in the sunshine
-seeing my fellow students sitting on the grass, on benches, talking, playing
-having the heel of my shoe stick in the sidewalk crack as a cute boy passed by
(maybe not completely a JOY at the moment-but now its funny)
-seeing familiar faces
-listening to josh turner
-only one class!

simple pleasures of this morning

simple pleasures of this morning:
-singing songs from hairspray
-warm and clean laundry
-eating ripe and sweet cantaloupe with my breakfast
-getting things checked off my to-do list
-having my room-mates around
-making plans
-letting a locked-out resident into their room
(it always makes me happy when i get to do my job as a r.a.-even simple things like unlocking doors!)
-feeling loved by my God

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

back in the swing of things

my two longest school days for the week are done.
early mornings that extend long into the afternoon.
many nursing classes with the same faces.

i'm excited/nervous for the year.
sometimes i feel like i know so much more than when i started.
and then sometimes i wonder how i was even accepted into the program-i know nothing!
then i hear my classmates wondering the same things about themselves. a lack of confidence seems to be catching!
clinicals in hospitals are only a few weeks away. yay/yikes!
today we learned about adminstering medications-quite the responsibility.
we got to practice and i ate some skittles as the patient.
more math-conversions for all kinds of meds

i had a hard time getting up this morning. last night we had our first staff meeting, and after that i felt tired and unprepared for practicum the next morning. and i still felt that way in the morning. i asked God to help me be excited to learn and grateful for the opportunity to go to a christian school. he totally did! although i was more than happy to be done early this afternoon (2:30 instead of 3:30), he still gave me the gift of several happy moments, aside from an all-around better attitude.

first of all, we played a game:would you be a "blank" or a "blank"? why?
whatever our choice, we had to stand one side of the room to distinguish ourselves.
would you be a tree or a flower?
tree-aspen, willow, elm, ash-slender trees with such character, moving in the wind, more stability than a flower, and i'm taller than most girls. tree.
flannel shirt or silk blouse?
silk blouse-i was the only one to make this choice. not only do i get hot easily, i love to dress up. not just heels and skirts, but costumes too. another reason i liked the hoe-down.
pizza with any toppings or gourmet food?
gourmet food-more likely to be gluten-free.

next happy moment-i got to eat lunch in the sunshine with kyle...and lots of other nursing students. i really love my a-i'm so glad we're friends and he's such an amazing guy-sort of way. he blesses me.

this afternoon, we learned how to give medication to kids using puppets. for the past year, i haven't had much direction about what speciality i would even BEGIN to think about pursuing. and today, i just had everything that's been floating around in my brain lately, confirmed. i felt like God gave me a whole handful of dreams for nursing care with kids.
stickers. puppets. stories. clever distractions. fun scrubs. someday.

and lastly, i got to sit between lacey and melodi. i'm continually blessed by those God places in my life.

Monday, August 27, 2007

more stern and splendid

aside from textbooks, i'm attempting to be diligent about reading from a book i acquired this summer-the beloved works of c.s. lewis. something that caught my eye today...

"love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness."
-c.s. lewis

Sunday, August 26, 2007

white as snow

tonight is our all-area meeting. kyle and i get to go over the rules, make introductions, play a get-to-know-you game, provide paperwork for completion and eat popsicles!

a few nights ago, i didn't have very many residents and i was lacking excitement for the year. i asked God for that anticipation for all he is going to do in the days ahead and he gave it to me! i feel ready, with his help, for the joys and challenges that await me as the r.a. of winters apartments.


as i helped lisa decorate her floor, i was reminded of my dear love for pretending and dressing up. i had such fun doing just that last night. i went to the hoe-down with kyle who turned out to be the best dance partner of the three years i've gone to the hoe-down. the music was fun. we got hot and sweaty. i loved seeing friends.
after the hoe-down, i got to see more friends and worship with them on the quad. the band, of which kyle was a member, did such an amazing job. i get a special thrill from worshipping with other believers-hearing all our voices together, praising the same God and savior. what a blessing.

cherie (my friend and aac-assistant to the area coordinator-this year!) and me, of course

Saturday, August 25, 2007

new and familiar

it's hard for me to believe that school is really starting.
it feels a little weird to be an upperclassman-i don't know what i thought it would be like-a little more confident, experienced, with my college time slowly slipping away...
residents are getting here-kyle and i hung out this morning greeting/giving out keys. lots of fun.
i'm so glad we're co-ras. God really blessed me two years in a row in that way.
this whole week feels mixed and jumbled.
today doesn't feel like saturday and classes certain don't seem like they'll begin in only two days.
i don't feel quite ready for it all to start, but i am excited.
new nursing classes.
new residents.
new friends.
new apartment.
yet, there is the element of the familiar which comforts me as i step out into the unknown.
familiar friends.
familiar campus.
familiar blessings.

i think this will be a good year.

tracing, fish line and friends

yesterday i got to be a blessing to someone else and i received more than enough in return.
last year i went on walkabout with my friend lisa.
i felt like we had not alot in common-but she was lots of things i've always been drawn to.
all last year, we hung out each week at walkabout dinners and i discovered a more serious side to this girl and much more in common with her. in return, i displayed my somewhat crazy side to her and we became better friends.
many fun hours were spent sitting next to her during res. life in-service last week.
yesterday, she discovered that an individual who had promised weeks in advance to help her with her floor decorations backed out. needless to say, she was pretty panicked. girls were showing up the next day, and her walls were still relatively bare. in an attempt to recreate some our her dreams, i and a few other girls traced each other.
what a horrible mess.
distorted images of our bodies, lots of laughter, but no usable decorations for her floor.
after eating dinner together, we finally got something to work using fishing line and paper clips. kyle ended up coming and helping. a few hours later, her floor was transformed into the costume center. i know that i was helping her, but i loved getting to spend time with her for hours.
earlier, kyle had mentioned wanting to hang out with me that night. while our evening didn't end up quite as relaxing as either of envisioned, i loved being able to help lisa.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

they're here!

my room-mates just got here.
suitcases are filling the living room.
their sausage and chili is in the freezer.
i can still feel their excited hugs around me.
my face is still smiling.
i'm so glad to have them share the apartment with me.
man, i love them.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

a few more...

pictures of my wilderness fam

back row-jon, brett, keith, kyle
front row-colleen, shanna, michelle, abby, chris, stephanie, alison
we made up the black knights-how i love these guys. =)

walkabout-the very word makes me smile

this past week has been completely exhausting-lots of res. life meetings, inventories, trying to soak up time with friends and attempts to sleep more than 7 hours each night.

as i showed daddy pictures of walkabout tonight, i was reminded of the gift i had last week through my week in the woods.

some of my favorite moments included-
-watching the boys confidently put on nylons or pantyhose as they affectionately called them
-huddling up for prayer
-having colleen help me with my sleeping bag the first day
-everyone ask me about my ankle
-the pizza man song
"with some nalgenes in my hand, i'm the george fox hiking people..."
-laughter on the trail from the very start
-asking questions of dr. biology
-shanna rolling onto me in the middle of the night
-back rubs
-the bandana of encouragement
-earning "stars"
-chris' rock star look
-trading corn nuts for powdered drink dubbed "pazink" and trail mix
-kyle playing the harmonica
-learning about "ghost snakes" from jon
-life stories
-brett's offer to carry me in his pack
-doodleberry jam-isn't the very name enough to make one smile?
-abby's imitation of lucifer (cinderella cat) "poof"
-abby and jon talking to each other through other people as leaders of the day
-throwing rocks/burdens off a mountain
-eating starbursts and hershey nuggets on the top of a mountain
-selecting a candy bar by playing the candy bar game
-having hands to hold when crossing streams
-stephanie waking us up by "steamrolling"
-breakfast in bed
-community eating
-walking on a glacier with butterflies flying around me
-the boys' love of disney princesses and loyalty to the personal favorites
-the long discussions that followed about disney princesses
-the look on brett's face (and desire to punch chris) when the discussion allowed chris to have hypothetical possession of jasemine AND ariel
-the equally intense discussion of which animals fit our personalities
-watching the sunrise on our last morning
-spontaneous pinecone fight!
-God allowing my ankle to hurt
-God choosing to heal my ankle the last few days of the hike

what a glorious week.

a visit

daddy came to visit me for a few hours today. as much as i love my dear friends who have become my family here at school, there is nothing like the swell my heart gave when my daddy was sitting by me.
i loved shopping with him.
i loved eating ice cream bars on my couch.
i loved introducing him to people.
i loved showing him walkabout pictures.
but i did not love saying good-bye.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

my heart is full

my heart is full.

i have 10 friends who feel like my family after a week in the wilderness of sisters, oregon.
i wasn't sure anything could compare to the year before, full of laughter, friendship and blessing.
but God surprised me yet again with some people who have become quite dear to my heart.

i'm not sure i have the right words to explain all of the

physical pain
hard times
pure joy

of the past week.

God taught me lessons, gave me people to love and support me and revealed himself to me in just the way i needed.
one of the hardest and best weeks of my life.
i feel like i can't stop smiling. my heart ached as i said good-bye to my family, but God gave me a group of 10 people to show me his love in such a tangible way this past week. my body aches and my face is happy.

thank you lord for the gift of this week, these people and your amazing and wonderful love for me.
i don't think i'll ever come close to understanding it.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

saying good-bye

"anne had a long meditation at her window that night. joy and regret struggled together in her heart. she had come at last...suddently and the bend in the road; and college was around it, with a hundred rainbow hopes and visions; but anne realized as well that when she rounded that curve she must leave many sweet things behind..." -anne of avonlea

i find packing to be quite horrid. it reminds me of leaving those i love while revealing areas that i was less than organized. i am getting close to being ready to leave with my physical belongings, but my heart feels torn. with less than 24 hours at home, i don't feel as though i am ready for the adventure ahead. and lucy was no help. she spent the night, which was such a jolly time, yet she was little comfort at the reality of my leaving. i think she may be more sad than i am! peter, paul and mommy prepared a tea party breakfast for us, which made our last few moments extra special and warmed my heart. it also made me feel, yet again, not quite ready to leave.

my prayer is that he prepares me in the ways i can not for what is to come, gives me courage for the unseen yet to be, provides excitement for the future year and comforts me as i say good-bye yet again.

“i hate the thought of going myself-home and i are such good friends.” -anne of the island

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

same street

i wrote this a while ago-january 15th to be exact. but i still feel the same. there's nothing quite like coming home. i'm just waiting for the day when coming home doesn't include leaving anybody that i love.

i decided that i can't wait for heaven.

after talking to my mommy, i realized how bittersweet it is for me to be at school. i love being my room-mates. i love my res. life staff. i love my classes...even though they add stress to my life. =)

yet, when i'm at fox, a small part of me is longing to be home. but over christmas break, part of me wanted to be back here.

i think that my heart longs not just for the people i love, but for the day when we will all be together. not here and there, but together in heaven. i can hardly wait.

when i was a little girl, my dream was for my whole family to live on the same street. i would be able to visit my grandma and grandpa whenever i wanted. i could play with my cousins, since they would be just down the street. even though i am older and know realistically that my dream could never happen, that desire has never left me. as i've gotten older, i think my dream street has expanded to make room for my dear friends that have become my family.

i don't think i even have the slightest idea of what wonders heaven holds. but i do know that i want to be there more than anything. with my savior and all his people, my brothers and sisters, all my family on the same street.

Monday, August 6, 2007


“that's the best...or the worst...of real life. it won't let you be miserable. it keeps on trying to make you comfortable...and succeeding...even when you're determined to be unhappy and romantic.” –anne of avonlea

today i felt quite determined to be miserable. after we pulled away from aquatic lane, an involuntary tear slid down my cheek. i put my sunglasses on to hide the rest of my tears. it was not difficult to stay sad for a full 20 minutes. i thought about how much i loved my grandparents and how much i already missed my cousins and aunts and uncles.
but then something curious happened. i found that i was having trouble staying melancholy. a cd i liked was playing. john was patiently waiting until i felt like watching a movie with him. and we were passing by beautiful california hill country.

i suppose even the feeling of nobly missing loved ones can't last. and i really did have such a lovely week. maybe that is why i am so reluctant for it to end. but the whisper of the pleasant days we spent together is a special treasure to enjoy even when it has ended. i loved the process of making these memories.

beach visits.
meals together.
jokes about gluten.
attempting to pet cats.
sleeping in.
frozen bananas.
the knowledge that i am known and still loved.

as nice as the fragrance from each of these flowers of remembrance are, i can't help but come back to my long felt desire to live on the same street with these dear people. the ache does slowly go away, but it seems to return whenever i am blessed to be with those i love so much.

Sunday, August 5, 2007


just a few thoughts on furry felines-

i've discovered that not all cats love me. i finally got shadow to let me pet him today after of being in california a week. i perservered in order to get past the hissing and now the day before we leave, he is beginning to like me.
yesterday we ate dinner at uncle mark and aunt stephanie's house. after being rejected by shadow, i made an extra effort with smudge. i used the kitty voice. i moved slowly. i let him smell my hand. i didn't try any potentially irritating petting. and he atempted to bite me. uncle brian was convinced that i was wearing some deodorant that would indicate my sub-conscious desire to be hated by cats.

i'm ready to see my kitties again, even if it is for just a few days before i go back to school. i know they purr quite readily and they love me.

john and i have been laughing all day about a video we started about problems cats/cat owners can have. our favorite was the segment that i did describing my cat who wouldn't eat...despite its stuffed animal appearance.
"its a wonder she's even ALIVE."

and lastly, i liked this quote, even if it isn't about cats much.

you see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. you pull his tail in new york and his head is meowing in los angeles. do you understand this? and radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. the only difference is that there is no cat.
- albert einstein