finger food

a mystery dinner: ordering all your food and utensils at once without knowing what you're getting.

my first course happened to be my spoon, fork and knife.

which meant i got to eat spaghetti with my fingers. that isn't generally encouraged in my family, but somehow this time it was okay. =)

summer flicks

my summer movie list so far...
indiana jones
not my favorite. the sci-fi aspect of it was a little weird, but it was alright.
iron man
i like super-hero movies. and this one was quite good.
get smart
pretty funny-but since i never saw the originals, i'm not too sure how it compares.
wall-e
robot love makes for a clever movie. it also made me never want to be overweight. =)

a summer day

even studying can't spoil the beauty of this summer day...

studying in the summer?

on wednesday, i take the nursing test. i've been studied pretty hard the past few weeks and am ready for a summer without textbooks and practice tests. i really want to pass (obviously) and am praying for that. but i'm also trying to do my part to make that happen. but it hasn't been all bad...

today involved an afternoon with
a brightly colored beach towel
the sunshine warming me
gentle study music
tiny daisies greeting me with cheerful faces
a busy ant scurrying across my leg, tickling me as he went past
a soft summer breeze forcing me to tuck my hair behind my ear
the sway of the porch swing with my notebook and review books on my lap

and after wednesday, i can enjoy guilt-free non-study time! i can hardly wait (and i think my family is quite ready for me to not be studying too...) sometimes paul gives me longing looks when i'm studying as he wonders when i will truly be able to play with him. he will also run by and whisper things like "i love you," thinking that this doesn't count as distracting me. super cute. =)

my car

long before i could even appreciate such a gift, gramma weezie and grampa bill placed money for me in savings.
today, the first day of summer, i was able to buy my first car, thanks to their generosity quite a few years ago.
its pretty exciting to have my own car. i'm looking forward to some good times in that car.
it will soon be named, but i want it to be just right. =)

a kitten

this week, mommy and i have been taking morning walks. early this week, we were beginning our last lap and passing by our house when a small kitten came to greet us. while we were charmed by its friendliness, we were dismayed when it began to follow us on our walk. when it proved its stupidity by almost getting run over a car (and it may have without our intervention) we decided we must save it. however, we didn't know how many days we would end up "saving" this kitten for.
thankfully, this playful, wild, darling kitten left our home yesterday. although it was fun, i appreciate our own mellow purring cats. and i'm sure they too appreciate the absence of a certain small ball of fur!
although its energy and clawing of the furniture will not be missed, i do admit that i did enjoy parts of our kitten visit, especially the tiny purring body that would trustingly fall asleep on my lap.

alcohol

in the past few months leading up to my 21st birthday and even since, i've had a few thoughts about alcohol.
here they are:

-alcohol hasn't been a big part of my experience growing up. aside from watching gramma and grampa drink it occasionally with dinner, it wasn't really around much.

-even though i'm "legal" now, i do value honoring my commitments. during the school year, i'm "on contract" with george fox. one of the agreements i make is to abstain from alcohol. so, i'm not going to drink then.

-jesus drank wine. he even seemed to endorse it in appropriate settings, by performing his first miracle at a wedding, turning the water into some amazing tasting alcohol.

-alcohol has played a role in foolishness & sin, as shown in examples in the old testament. take noah, xerxes, and lot's daughters for example.

-wine is listed along with the bounty of food as an example of God's blessing on multiple occasions.

-when instructions are given for choosing godly leaders in 1 timothy, elders and deacons are not to be given to drunkenness. they're to be self-controlled and not indulge in much wine. this leads me to think that if paul had held true objections to alcohol in general he would have said so. and i think these standard should hold for all of us, since we should be striving to be more christ-like people, who can be used by God.

-these instructions limiting alcohol not only are there for protection in regards to our behavior, but also our health. in my studies of the human body, i've seen first hand the effects of excessive alcohol use on the body, especially the liver. yuck.

-alcohol like many things is appropriate in moderation. rest is important, but too much is laziness. food is necessary, but too much leads to gluttony. money is needed, but an increased focus on material possessions leads to greed (and is even referred to as the root of all sorts of evil.) i think with the examples given in the bible, it can be deduced that alcohol can be enjoyed along with food, or even as something to enhance a celebration.

-however, having said that, i do recognize that some do really struggle with self-control in the area of alcohol. paul addresses "accepting those whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters." (romans 14:1) i think this passage in romans sums up my thoughts about alcohol:
"therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. instead make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. i am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. but if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. if your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. do not by your eating destroy your brother or sister for whom Christ died. therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil.

for the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval." -romans 14: 13-8

and having said all of that, my 21-year-old self has yet to try alcohol...despite what the pictures may imply. =)

bigger

its still a little weird to think that i'm 21.
i've been alive for 21 years.

as i get older, aslan gets bigger.
for some reason, in my head it seems like the more i figure out about life, i should also figure out more about aslan. isn't that how it works? as peter grows, he becomes closer to my height. i don't become bigger in relation to his growth (even though i don't always like how close he is coming to surpassing me...)
while i know that my relationship with Jesus has changed and grown, i feel smaller than ever.

and i also feel as though i'm seeing things that i may have been too naive or child-like to notice before.
not that any of these things are new revelations, but...
life is hard.
people i love have been hurt and i can't fix it.
the church isn't perfect.
people i love let me down.

"aslan. aslan. dear aslan," sobbed lucy. "at last."
the great beast rolled over on his side so that lucy fell, half sitting and half lying between his front paws. he bent forward and just touched her nose with his tongue. his warm breath came all round her. she gazed up into the large wise face.
"welcome, child," he said.
"aslan," said lucy, "you're bigger."
"that is because you are older, little one," answered he.
"not because you are?"
"i am not. but every year you grow, you will find me bigger."
for a time she was so happy that she did not want to speak. but aslan spoke.
"lucy," he said, "we must not lie here for long. you have work in hand, and much time has been lost today."
-prince caspian, c. s. lewis

i'm glad that aslan has it figured out. i'm glad he gets bigger as i do. i'm glad he's in control.
but as i get bigger, i have work to do. he has work for me to do. my eyes are being opened more to the hurting world, and i'm not called to merely watch the pain. he expects me to do something about it. but he's big enough to help me make up for any lost time. he's big enough to breath on me and calm my fears.

remembering the adventure

a month ago (well, approximately because of the time change) i was enjoying one of the favorite adventures of my australia trip. here are a few pictures that capture this special trip down the tulley river...

the way that i take

"but he knows the way that i take..."
these are the words of job, in the midst of horrible circumstances.
even when he couldn't feel God's presence and things seemed as bad as they could be, he was able to recognize God's sovereignty.

my troubles seem small in comparison to what job endured.
but nonetheless,
my tests loom before me in less than 2 weeks.
i still haven't heard back about my preceptorship.
my heart aches for the residents i take care of.
i still don't know what i want to do when i am done with school, which is only a year away.
did i mention that i only have a year left?

i wish i wasn't so frightened of the unknown.
i can't see the direction the path my feet are following goes.
i take one step at a time, hoping that which each step i may have a better view of what is coming.
yet i feel like with each step, i know no more than i did a few steps back.
and it seemed safer a few steps back.

but i am thankful that God can use even my insecurities, tremblings and fears to draw me to himself.
i may not know what is coming.
and i may be scared for what is to come.
but i have a strong hand to cling to as i take each step.

"when my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way." -psalm 142:3

the "right" side of the road

australia almost killed me.
not while i was there, although there were plenty of deadly animals that could have done the job.
but since i've been back...
i think there have been about four or five times in the past few weeks when i couldn't remember which side of the road i was supposed to turn onto in order to safely drive. keep in mind that on these occasions there were no other cars on the road to guide my ability to judge this. however, it is quite disconcerting to not remember, even for only a second or so, which side of the road is the "right" side!
as much as i want to hold onto every dear memory of my time in that country, perhaps it would be best if a few of my memories weren't quite so vividly remembered. i never imagined that driving up front with carl would have such lasting effects!

one of my favorite activities...

i'm a little obsessed with dressing up...well, maybe not obsessed, but it is definitely one of my favorite things to do. thankfully, my best friend feels similarly to the idea of putting on clothes for the sole purpose of imagining to be some other type of character. our selections for the evening were a southern belle and a pregnant peasant. since we only had a short amount of time together our activities last night included: dressing up, playing apples to apples with the boys (who were convinced that we were cheating, since lucy and i were the obvious winners-but only because we know each other so well!), watching a knight's tale and talking late into the night.

robots

i told rob that i didn't feel as fun as the last time mommy and daddy took this trip 5 years ago. granted, i wasn't working and had just gotten done with school for the summer. peter was in kindergarten, john was in 6th grade and paul and i just hung out at home and played heaps. although i knew i couldn't change the fact that i was working this week and studying nursing some, i didn't want this week to drag by for my brothers. thankfully, God really came through and gave me an inspired idea!

we had a themed night: robots. we made costumes out of cardboard boxes which everyone participated in. we took pictures. we ate dinner wearing our boxes and talked in robot voices, discussing robot-ish things. we had tim-tam sundaes for dessert, which didn't really have anything to do with robots, but they were delicious! we ended the evening by watching two robot movies: robots & sky captain and the world of tomorrow. a good start to our week!

birthday fun

what a day 'o' fun:

things that made me feel loved-
a birthday note when i left for work
the delivery of flowers
birthday songs & dances
excited brothers
lots of birthday messages: facebook, myspace, texts
thoughtful gifts
banana laffy taffy! (my all time favorite flavor & one of my favorite candies. good work, paul)
box 'o' fun!
delicious food
german chocolate cake
phone calls from friends

a break from tradition

i came home from work a few days ago to a note on my bed from mommy, asking me what i wanted for my birthday dinner and dessert. i thought the question was a little odd to have included dessert, since i've had pumpkin pie for my birthday ever since i was five. (this was when i first realized i could have whatever i wanted for my birthday dessert.)
as i contemplated this important decision, i came to the realization that i wanted something other than pumpkin pie. as delicious as this dessert continues to be for me, i have made it several times at school this past semester and i am craving some chocolatey goodness.
despite my brothers' protests against this untraditional approach to my birthday indulgence, i decided upon a german chocolate cake for june 5th. a difficult decision, but i think it will be delicious.

only 4 more days until i turn 21!