my recurrent lesson

over thanksgiving we watched evan almighty. there is a part in the movie when morgan freeman, playing the part of God, talks to evan's wife. he tells her that when you pray for patience, God doesn't give you patience, but opportunities to teach you patience. that's when she has the epiphany that she should go back to her husband and support him, seizing the opportunity given by God to learn patience.

tonight we had our last bible study of the semester. we went over the goals we had at the beginning of the semester for growing closer to God. i pulled out my notecard from september with the word, "trust" written in bold green letters. i realized that this challenging, sometimes horrible semester, has been my opportunity to trust God. instead of just giving me trust, he has given me the chance to trust him over and over again.

i've had many conversations with jesus the past few days. i don't know what the days ahead hold. i want to think that nursing is in my future, but the possibility remains that it may not happen.

but whatever happens, i believe more than ever that jesus is in control of my future. he holds me in his hand. he has only the best plan for me, to make me more like him. i may not like the process, and there may be tears along the way, but i trust him.

in "where the red fern grows" billy has a talk with God. he offers to do his part of the deal-he commits to do all he can, and trusts God to do the rest.

and that's all i can do right now.