trying not to cry...

i feel like this week has been going non-stop...until now. and i feel like crying. and laughing, when thinking about the last few hours.

pathophysiology test was friday afternoon, followed by a full weekend of activities, preparation for check-out, and lots of studying. monday was my health assessment final. assessing melodi from head-to-toe felt so scary, but i think it went pretty well. all-area meeting to go over check-out information was also on monday night. not alot of sleep that night, as i got ready for the first half of my practicum test. that was the next morning and felt scary too. without feedback, i can only hope that i did decently, but i think so...

after that, i felt completely exhausted. i took a short nap, but i went to bed early too. sleeping alot last night helped, but i was still tired today. going to classes and packing didn't seem to help too much.

tonight was our last staff meeting. we drove to p.f. chang's in bridgeport. it felt a little sad to be sitting at a long table and not get to be with everyone. the people at the other end of the table seemed so far away. martha and amanda presented us with awards for the year. mine was for "using my razor sharp memory to keep our staff on the right path"..."because I'm Jesus." =) that made me want to cry a little bit, but then martha started to say how special we were as her first staff at fox. she started to cry a little while telling us how much she loves all of us. then she gave us the cutest (sorry guys! i hope you think that they are manly..) pocket Bible ever. she engraved them with "love beyond words" which as she says, can mean either the verb or the noun or both.

a few happy moments from tonight:
-riding over with jocelyn and stacey
-taking pictures next to the horse outside p.f.chang's
-having my laugh described by jocelyn as a guinea pig
-sharing fried rice and lots of shrimp with jocelyn and stacey
-hearing bryan's laugh
-eating the wall of chocolate cake
-hearing david call the wall of chocolate cake "the great wall of china"
-hearing martha correct david and call it "the berlin wall" since it had been demolished
-hearing bryan's sales pitch for mr. bruin tomorrow night
-watching david stick his fortune in his sock
-hearing john excitedly talk about the luck of the leprechauns
-being all together, feeling like a family
-riding home with jocelyn, stacey, danielle and amanda

i feel like crying. i'm not ready to give these people up. i don't feel ready to start a new chapter, when this one has been so wonderful. i love these people so much.
i'm going to bed now, so that i can keep from crying.