mis'rubul

“that's the best...or the worst...of real life. it won't let you be miserable. it keeps on trying to make you comfortable...and succeeding...even when you're determined to be unhappy and romantic.” –anne of avonlea

today i felt quite determined to be miserable. after we pulled away from aquatic lane, an involuntary tear slid down my cheek. i put my sunglasses on to hide the rest of my tears. it was not difficult to stay sad for a full 20 minutes. i thought about how much i loved my grandparents and how much i already missed my cousins and aunts and uncles.
but then something curious happened. i found that i was having trouble staying melancholy. a cd i liked was playing. john was patiently waiting until i felt like watching a movie with him. and we were passing by beautiful california hill country.

i suppose even the feeling of nobly missing loved ones can't last. and i really did have such a lovely week. maybe that is why i am so reluctant for it to end. but the whisper of the pleasant days we spent together is a special treasure to enjoy even when it has ended. i loved the process of making these memories.

conversations.
sunshine.
laughter.
beach visits.
meals together.
jokes about gluten.
disneyland.
hugs.
attempting to pet cats.
sleeping in.
frozen bananas.
the knowledge that i am known and still loved.

as nice as the fragrance from each of these flowers of remembrance are, i can't help but come back to my long felt desire to live on the same street with these dear people. the ache does slowly go away, but it seems to return whenever i am blessed to be with those i love so much.