a hope of my heart

when i think of jesus, i don't generally think of him as romantic.
merciful or humble or just or kind maybe,
but not romantic.

tonight matt maher played a song about a couple who had married for many faithful years. as i closed my eyes and listened to the words, i felt my heart hope for such a future.

my heart hopes to be told, both now and even after many years that i am wanted. that i am desired. that i am needed. that he will listen to my problems. that he will stay up with me. that he will hold my tears. that he will calm my fears. that he will hold me. that he will stay with me.

jesus knows my desire to be married. aside from being God and knowing everything, i tell him that desire. as i said in my life story to my staff just a few weeks ago, one of my "ninevahs," one of the hardest things God could ask of me is to be single for all of my time on earth.

as i listened to the song tonight, i felt God whisper to my soul-
whether or not i choose to reveal my love for you through a man is up to me.
trust me.
rest in me.
abide in my love.
because, my beloved, i WILL reveal my vast love for you, which is greater, more passionate and more beautiful than any love a man has ever felt for a woman.
the words you long to have said to you,
the way you desire to be pursued,
the intimacy you crave,
the sweetness of romance you want-that i created you to want,
is everything i feel for you.
rest in my love. let me love you, Alison.

by no means do i feel as though i am guaranteed a husband after tonight, but i do feel the guarantee of God's love over me, which i am finding is more than enough.

"the Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
he will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
-zephaniah 3:17