talking to myself

i'm a firm believer in self talk. if something unfortunate happens, i often try to help myself find something good about the situation. or if i have to do something requiring gumption, i generally give myself a small pep talk before doing the deed. martha claims my middle name should be "motivational speaker" but i think the only reason i can give such speeches to other people, is because i give them so often to myself. =)

the past few weeks have involved a fair bit of self talk, especially in regards to one specific thing. the way self talk usually works for me is that, as silly as it sounds, i talk myself through something that is difficult or challenging (in this case, both) and it makes it much easier to deal with.

but then, once in a while, i get the wind knocked out of me.
like yesterday morning
a sucker punch to my gut-
something that i hadn't considered in my attempts to convince myself.
and i realize that it really does hurt.
self talk may be quite helpful, but that doesn't mean it gives me my breath back or stops the subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) ache.