an audience

i recently read an opinion describing the difference between blogs and journals. while the article did not disregard blogs, it did offer the idea that journaling was still the better option. when blogging, one has the notion of performing for an audience, writing with the intention of others reading; whereas journaling is different and thought to be more free, without limitations of others' opinions of the writing's content. approval is not being sought, instead only the satisfaction of expressing oneself.

of course, because of my pleasure obtained from blogging i felt quite defensive after reading this. i wanted to protest and prove that i did not behave this way, and perhaps even write a very personal post in order to show just that.

but then i realized that the article did have some truth. i do write differently when i know there is the chance another will happen upon my work. my opinions and thoughts may not change, but my candor and even subject matter is different when i have an audience compared to when i do not have one.

for one, i do not describe my many weaknesses when i know i have an audience for fear i may be too convincing.

therefore, in order to satisfy both the writer and the weaker side of me, i have decided to have two places in which to express myself. and perhaps to the dismay of the article's author, they are both blogs. however, one will be rather secretive as only i will ever read or write there.
so there it is-an on-line journal as it were, has been created today. and no one except me will ever see it, which is probably for the best.

i am certain that some thoughts are best kept to myself.