a nudge

i'm scared-i don't want to give up this dream.
its a bit ironic, since i didn't even want it in the beginning, and now, i'm afraid to let go of it.
church today was all about surrender. i definitely felt that nudge.
i like control and i like to know what my future holds. the thought of giving things up makes me wonder what i'm trusting in. my shaky plans or God's perfect plan? i'm embarrassed of the answer, but at the same time, it makes me want to cling more tightly to the familiar.
help me to embrace your dreams for me jesus.
i want what you want-really i do.