Thursday, April 24, 2008

warm fuzzies

our last staff meeting has come and gone.
i hate to think that we're done. i know from my end that there will still be final hugs and good-byes before i leave campus, but we won't all be together anymore. ouch. even writing that makes me sad.

at our last one-on-one, martha and i talked about how its easy to protect yourself from getting hurt, from feeling pain when good-byes come. holding back on loving others might keep you from hurting, but it also keeps you from the joy, the blessing, the gift of being in relationship with others. during our conversation she used the phrase, "love like it won't hurt."
last night made realize that i didn't hold back at all with my staff. i loved quickly and deeply. although i'm hurting inside, i wouldn't take back anything from this year.

aside from looking at pictures, eating candy, laughing, presenting martha with her ipod, receiving year-end awards + gifts and taking a final group picture, we finished the year off with "warm fuzzies."
last year, we affirmed each other through written notes.
this year, we verbally affirmed each other, with the limit of three people per turn.
i think verbally telling someone exactly what they mean to you is one of the best, hardest, meaningful and beautiful things i've experienced. its difficult to receive praise sometimes, but i think it was what we needed. i felt like i had things to say to each of these lovely people. carrie, sarah, namky and kyle (yes, i got four) all spoke to me. by the end of it, i felt like i was going to melt into a puddle of tears. somehow i held it in until kyle drove me home and gave me part 2 of "what i love about alison." i made it to my front door before i let the tears come.

these fourteen people were the best part of my year. i'm glad i loved like it wouldn't hurt, but it still hurts. hold me, Jesus.

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