surrender

surrender.
today i had the realization with a very tangible and physical example that surrender is more than just "giving it all to God."
surrender is admitting i can't do it.
surrender is letting someone else help me-sometimes that someone is jesus, while other times he uses other people as his help in my life.

i've never been super flexible or physically strong. after all, i was the one in 5th grade gymnastics who had trouble doing a somersault. today, i lacked the ability to do something that others in my walkabout group could do, as we did an activity for res. life seminar. admittedly, it was somewhat challenging, but i was the only one who couldn't. it was a little humiliating, but brett and jon didn't wait long before grabbing my hands and lifting me out.
as hard as it was to accept help, it was exactly what i needed. i couldn't do it on my own. i needed their hands on my arms-their strength compensating for my weakness.

i need help. i can't do it by myself. while its hard to admit, hard to accept, being honest about my brokenness and limitations ultimately leads to freedom. i don't know if these guys even thought about how they helped me after that moment, but it keeps going through my mind as more than just a representation of my physical restrictions.

"but he said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that christ's power may rest on me." -2 corinthians 12:9