behind the wheel

i went to clinicals again this morning. instead of following a nurse around today, i followed a cna and got to do alot more partcipation! i felt like i learned so much, especially about humility...

today i had the feeling of when i first started driving. i felt terrified! what on earth am i doing behind the wheel? do i even know what i am doing? i was nervous as i took a woman's blood pressure, praying that i would be able to hear both the systolic and diastolic sounds with my stethoscope. i was nervous as i helped a woman shower for the first time. i was nervous as i made beds for real patients for the first time. i was nervous as i had to help patients get ready for the day, finding their things and helping them to the bathroom. and i was nervous when i got feedback from my instructor.

but i wasn't full of nervous feelings all morning. i got called a pretty girl as i fed a man his breakfast...only to discover by his physical therapist that he was supposed to feed himself! i stayed and sat with him as he finished eating though. i assured a woman that she wasn't loony, even though she was worried that the nurses thought she was. i wheeled a man to his breakfast and sat with him. i delivered snacks and coffee to patients. i talked to a woman recovering from surgery and compared menus for the week. i agreed that today sounded the worst with tuna casserole and lima beans! i loved the conversations and laughter on the ride to and from the facility.

i am behind the wheel of this fast moving major of nursing. so often i don't feel like i have any idea what i'm doing, but then i feel reassurance from jesus, my friends and family that i am where i am supposed to be. yet, in spite of my feelings of inadequacy, i suprise myself! i was able to do vital signs for all the patients i was assigned to, and able to interpret the numbers i got. i was able to interact with patients and made a few friends. and i learned alot.